Things That Are Funny To Say

Things That Are Funny To Say

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By Big Mama
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Step into the amusing universe of “Things That Are Funny to Say” – an exclusive collection designed just for you! This delightful guide is your personal treasure trove for snappy comebacks, clever remarks, and side-splitting one-liners. From witty banter to laugh-inducing observations, it ensures you’re armed with the perfect quip for any occasion. So, gear up for a journey where every word is a dose of laughter, making you the maestro of mirth in a world that could use a good chuckle. With this curated compendium, you’re not just talking; you’re crafting comedic magic!

In this laughter-packed guide, we’ve cherry-picked gems that traverse the spectrum of humor – from the delightfully absurd to the cleverly witty. Picture it as your backstage pass to the world of funny, where every quip is a key to unlocking smiles. Whether you’re gearing up for a casual chat with friends, navigating the tricky waters of school banter, or simply looking to inject some joy into your day, these clever lines are tailored to spark laughter in any setting. So, buckle up for a rollercoaster ride through the lighter side of language, where wit reigns supreme and every word is a ticket to a good time!

Let's Go...

Now, armed with this comedic arsenal, let’s dive into a rib-tickling repertoire of “Things That Are Funny to Say.” From witty retorts to clever musings, these curated gems are ready to take center stage in your conversations, ensuring that laughter becomes your trusted sidekick.

Here’s a list of 101 funny things to say:

  1. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!”
  2. “I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.”
  3. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
  4. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
  5. “Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!”
  6. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.”
  7. “Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.”
  8. “What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.”
  9. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.”
  10. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
  11. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  12. “What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.”
  13. “Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.”
  14. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
  15. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  16. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  17. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  18. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  19. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  20. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  21. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.”
  22. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
  23. “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
  24. “Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!”
  25. “I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.”
  26. “Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.”
  27. “What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.”
  28. “I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.”
  29. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
  30. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  31. “What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.”
  32. “Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.”
  33. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
  34. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  35. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  36. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  37. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  38. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  39. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  40. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  41. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  42. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  43. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  44. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  45. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  46. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  47. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  48. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  49. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  50. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  51. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  52. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  53. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  54. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  55. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  56. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  57. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  58. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  59. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  60. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  61. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  62. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  63. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  64. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  65. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  66. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  67. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  68. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  69. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  70. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  71. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  72. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  73. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  74. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  75. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  76. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  77. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  78. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  79. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  80. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  81. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  82. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  83. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  84. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  85. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  86. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  87. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  88. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  89. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  90. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  91. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  92. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  93. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”
  94. “What did one hat say to the other? Stay here; I’m going on ahead.”
  95. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.”
  96. “What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”
  97. “I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.”
  98. “Why don’t scientists trust genetics? Because it’s all in the genes.”
  99. “I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.”
  100. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you.'”
  101. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!”




ALL In ALL

And there you have it – a treasure trove of wit and humor in our collection of “Funny Things to Say.” We hope these lines bring a smile to your face, spark laughter in your conversations, and perhaps even become your go-to source for those unforgettable moments. Remember, laughter is the universal language that connects us all, so go ahead, share the joy, and let these funny sayings be your companions in turning everyday interactions into comedic masterpieces. Stay witty, stay hilarious, and keep spreading the laughter!

FAQ About THings To Say That Are Funny

Q: What is a short and witty saying?
A: A short and witty saying is the linguistic equivalent of a well-timed punchline—a brief, clever snippet that packs a humorous punch. It’s the quick-witted charmer in the world of expressions, delivering amusement without overstaying its welcome.

Q: How do you respond to “You’re so funny”?
A: Responding to “You’re so funny” is an art in itself. One might say, “Well, naturally! Someone has to keep the world amused, and I graciously accepted the role. It’s a tough job, but hey, someone’s got to do it. Consider it my contribution to global happiness – one chuckle at a time.”

Q: What are some funny random things to say in text?
A: Texting is a canvas for humor, and crafting funny messages is an art. Consider dropping gems like, “I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode,” or the classic “I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.” Because who said text messages can’t be a source of daily laughter?

Q: What are some things to say that are funny to a guy?
A: When aiming for humor with guys, consider a light-hearted jab like, “I’m not saying you’re old, but if you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’ After all, laughter is the universal language appreciated by all genders.”

Q: What are some funny random things to say in a conversation?
A: Elevate the conversation with random humor, like pondering, “If aliens are watching us through telescopes, they’re probably thinking, ‘These guys are still using fossil fuels?’ It’s the unexpected twist that adds a delightful touch to everyday banter.”

Q: What are some funny things to say to friends to make them laugh?
A: Friends deserve nothing but the best laughs. Light up their day with a humorous quip such as, “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.” Because good friends appreciate both the humor and the camaraderie.

Q: What are some funny things to say to a girl?
A: To bring a smile to a girl’s face, charm her with, “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. Also, could you do a trick and make my laundry vanish?” It’s the perfect blend of compliment and playful banter.

Q: What are some funny things to say out of context?
A: Out-of-context humor is a work of art. For example, embrace the absurd with, “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” The unexpected nature of such phrases adds an element of surprise that’s sure to garner a chuckle.

Q: What are some short funny phrases?
A: In the world of short and sweet humor, consider this gem: “I’m not lazy; I’m in energy-saving mode.” It’s a concise and clever expression that encapsulates wit within a few words, proving that brevity can indeed be the soul of humor.