Funny Motivational Quotes For work

Funny Motivational Quotes For Work

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By Big Mama
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Ah, the daily grind – where the coffee’s weak, the meetings are endless, and the office chair feels like it’s plotting against your back. Work, the four-letter word we all love to hate. But fear not, fellow corporate warriors, for in the vast wilderness of spreadsheets and deadlines, a beacon of hope emerges: funny motivational quotes for work! Because let’s face it, a well-placed quip can turn a mundane Monday into a Fri-yay in the blink of an eye. So, grab your coffee, roll your eyes at the overflowing inbox, and let the hilariously inspiring journey to conquer the workweek commence! After all, as they say, “The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese… and probably a promotion.” Let the hilarity commence, and may your coffee be strong, your Wi-Fi be stable, and your deadlines be fashionably late!

Let's Go...

  1. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”
  2. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
  3. “If I had a dollar for every time my boss made me do extra work, I’d have enough to hire someone to do my job.”
  4. “Teamwork makes the dream work, but it also makes the coffee break longer.”
  5. “I’m not saying my boss is a control freak, but when I make a cup of coffee, I have to submit a project plan.”
  6. “I’m not saying my boss is demanding, but my job description now includes mind reading.”
  7. “Coffee: because adulting is hard.”
  8. “I’m not a procrastinator; I’m on a quest to find the perfect meme for every situation.”
  9. “I’m not saying I hate my job, but if it was a person, I’d punch it.”
  10. “I asked my boss if I could come in a little late. He said, ‘Dream on.’ So, I went back to sleep.”
  11. “I don’t always love my job, but when I do, it’s Friday.”
  12. “I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing the art of pretending to look busy.”
  13. “I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode.”
  14. “I put the ‘elusive’ in ‘elusive deadlines.'”
  15. “I don’t mind working on weekends; it’s the two consecutive days off that mess with my routine.”
  16. “I don’t always drink at work, but when I do, it’s water… because I’m responsible like that.”
  17. “I’m not saying I’m the office superhero, but have you ever seen Batman and me in the same room?”
  18. “I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
  19. “I asked for a raise, and my boss gave me more work. I guess the joke’s on me.”
  20. “My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I decided to stay home and take care of it.”
  21. “My boss wanted me to start the day with a joke. So I told him my salary.”
  22. “I’m not a control freak; I’m just incredibly persuasive.”
  23. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m on a coffee break.”
  24. “I’m not saying my desk is a mess, but my stapler is on a milk carton.”
  25. “I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
  26. “I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing doing nothing over talking to you.”
  27. “If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d hire someone to collect my dollars.”
  28. “My boss wanted me to have a good day. So, I went home.”
  29. “I’m not saying my boss is a micromanager, but my monitor has more cameras than a reality show.”
  30. “The only thing I’m good at on Mondays is making coffee disappear.”
  31. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m just on a quest to find the perfect meme for every situation.”
  32. “I’m not saying I’m indecisive, but I can’t even choose a favorite color.”
  33. “I’m not saying my desk is messy, but the roaches left a complaint.”
  34. “The office coffee machine gives a whole new meaning to ‘brewed resentment.'”
  35. “Why is there always that one colleague who thinks ‘reply all’ is a personal chat room?”
  36. “I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing the art of pretending to look busy.”
  37. “My level of sarcasm is directly related to your level of stupidity.”
  38. “Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”
  39. “My job is secure; no one else wants it.”
  40. “I don’t always multitask, but when I do, I’m pretending to listen to you.”
  41. “The only reason I work so well with others is that I have no choice.”
  42. “I’m not saying my coffee is strong, but it can hold down a full-time job.”
  43. “I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”
  44. “If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”
  45. “I’m not saying my computer is old, but it can almost vote.”
  46. “The only exercise I get at work is jumping to conclusions.”
  47. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, it’s Monday.”
  48. “I don’t always drink at work, but when I do, it’s water… because I’m responsible like that.”
  49. “I’m not saying my job is easy, but even emojis are too much effort.”
  50. “I’m not saying my desk is a mess, but my stapler is on a milk carton.”
  51. “I don’t always work overtime, but when I do, it’s because I accidentally opened an email from my boss.”
  52. “I’m not late; I’m giving others a chance to feel early for once.”
  53. “I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
  54. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m just prioritizing doing nothing over talking to you.”
  55. “If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d hire someone to pick up my dollars.”
  56. “My boss wanted me to start the day with a joke. So I told him my salary.”
  57. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m on a quest to find the perfect meme for every situation.”
  58. “I’m not saying my boss is demanding, but my job description now includes mind reading.”
  59. “My ability to turn coffee into code is unmatched. My ability to turn code into a working
  60. “I’m not saying I’m indecisive, but I can’t even choose a favorite color.”
  61. “The only thing I’m committed to is avoiding commitment.”
  62. “The more I learn about your job, the more I appreciate mine.”
  63. “I’m not a control freak; I’m just incredibly persuasive.”
  64. “I asked my boss if I could come in a little late. He said, ‘Dream on.’ So, I went back to sleep.”
  65. “I’m not saying my desk is a mess, but my stapler is on a milk carton.”
  66. “I don’t always multitask, but when I do, I’m pretending to listen to you.”
  67. “The only reason I work so well with others is that I have no choice.”
  68. “I’m not saying my coffee is strong, but it can hold down a full-time job.”
  69. “I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”
  70. “If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”
  71. “I’m not saying my computer is old, but it can almost vote.”
  72. “The only exercise I get at work is jumping to conclusions.”
  73. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, it’s Monday.”
  74. “I don’t always drink at work, but when I do, it’s water… because I’m responsible like that.”
  75. “I’m not saying my job is easy, but even emojis are too much effort.”
  76. “I’m not saying my desk is a mess, but my stapler is on a milk carton.”
  77. “I don’t always work overtime, but when I do, it’s because I accidentally opened an email from my boss.”
  78. “I’m not late; I’m giving others a chance to feel early for once.”
  79. “I’m not a morning person or a night owl. I’m a permanently exhausted pigeon.”
  80. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m just prioritizing doing nothing over talking to you.”
  81. “If I had a dollar for every time someone called me lazy, I’d hire someone to pick up my dollars.”
  82. “My boss wanted me to start the day with a joke. So I told him my salary.”
  83. “I’m not avoiding work; I’m on a quest to find the perfect meme for every situation.”
  84. “I’m not saying my boss is demanding, but my job description now includes mind reading.”
  85. “My ability to turn coffee into code is unmatched. My ability to turn code into a working”
  86. “I’m not saying I’m indecisive, but I can’t even choose a favorite color.”
  87. “The only thing I’m committed to is avoiding commitment.”
  88. “The more I learn about your job, the more I appreciate mine.”
  89. “I’m not a control freak; I’m just incredibly persuasive.”
  90. “I asked my boss if I could come in a little late. He said, ‘Dream on.’ So, I went back to sleep.”
  91. “I’m not saying my desk is a mess, but my stapler is on a milk carton.”
  92. “I don’t always multitask, but when I do, I’m pretending to listen to you.”
  93. “The only reason I work so well with others is that I have no choice.”
  94. “I’m not saying my coffee is strong, but it can hold down a full-time job.”
  95. “I don’t have an attitude; I have a personality you can’t handle.”
  96. “If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”
  97. “I’m not saying my computer is old, but it can almost vote.”
  98. “The only exercise I get at work is jumping to conclusions.”
  99. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people, but when I do, it’s Monday.”
  100. “I don’t always drink at work, but when I do, it’s water… because I’m responsible like that.”
  101. “I’m not saying my job is easy, but even emojis are too much effort.”

    Hope these quotes are brightening up your coffee breaks more than that flickering office light ever could! We promise to keep the laughs rolling in, like an office chair with a slightly dysfunctional wheel. So, bookmark us – because in the grand symphony of work, we’re the jazz solo you never knew you needed. Remember, we’ve got a quote for every coffee spill and spreadsheet disaster. Stay sassy, stay caffeinated, and most importantly, stay away from the fax machine – no one knows how that thing works anyway.

    Yours in Workweek Woes and Wonders, The Office Chuckler, Big Mama